I bought Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings by Greg Gutfeld in London in July, partly because, well «A Miserable Yank Finds Happiness in the UK» appealed to me as an anglophile, partly because I like books about Britain, and partly because it says
«A Bill Bryson for the noughties» – Daily Mirror
on the front. I guess I should have known not to trust a quote from the Daily Mirror. Shame on me.
Well, I can tell you, a Bill Bryson he ain’t.
AND, and I can’t believe the first time I ever feel the need to say this in a blog post it’s for a review of a «travel book» on Britain: Trigger warning. Really.
I have an admission to make, I didn’t finish the book. I almost stopped reading at around page 20 and kept going partly because I was horribly fascinated and partly because I thought «someone really ought to point a few things out as regards this book». I made it to page 138 out of 239 before finally giving in.
The blurb on the back starts out cheerily «Battered sausages. Warm beer. Earl Grey tea in chipped mug. Morris dancers. Pub dogs. Car boot sales.» Which sounded good to me. I wish they’d added «Misogynist jokes» to the list, and I might have known to stay clear.
I would need to reread the first 20 or so pages to find the first place where my inner editor went «Strike this!», but the first instance that compelled me to mark the page for future reference was this:
Why do girls with backpacks always seem so tempting? I think it’s because if a week goes by and nobody has heard from them, it’s OK. (p. 22)
You what?
WHAT?
And so it went on. And on. Be wiser than me, don’t try to read this book.