Is it possible to be cranky and deliriously happy at the same time? If so, that’s what I am.

I am so tired I’m nauseous. That’s why I’m cranky. This is why I’m deliriously happy.

Ok, so it’s four in the morning, I can’t sleep and so I figured I might as well have a look at that piece of code I left hanging yesterday in order to go gallavanting round IKEA with the boyfriend. Except I can’t get the VPN-connection to work, so no access to the office network and no file to work on. Damn. Damn.

I think maybe our tech-support guys would appreciate it if I refrained from phoning them now, don’t you?

I guess I’ll eat something (I’m starving) and try to sleep some more (I’m tired).

Update: It turns out they’ve locked the VPN between 11 pm and 7 am in order to prevent people unwittingly (or, I suppose, wittingly) interfering with the backups and such. I can get limited access if I promise to be careful, but somehow I think I agree with Stein’s first comment that I ought to have gone back to bed anyway.

Voices in my head: 98° and Stevie Wonder – True to Your Heart

I seem to have outlawed elections. I think this must have happened when I agreed that everything would probably work better if everyone simply went with what I decided. Incidentally, that was after the economy ‘imploded’. (Jennifer Government Nation States game)

UN Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights: Superb
Economy: Imploded
Political Freedoms: Below Average

The Queendom of Dragonium Major is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its devotion to social welfare. Its compassionate population of 112 million enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level social equality free of the usual accompanying government corruption.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, the Environment, and Education. The average income tax rate is 88%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, all industry is owned and run by the government, gambling is outlawed, and elections have been outlawed. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.

This love stuff. It’s confusing. I keep having completely different reactions to the ones I expect to have. This ‘being in company with someone all the time’ thing, for example. I mean, I hate that. Or, at least, I used to hate it. So I keep expecting to be relieved when I have an hour or two to myself, and then I find I’m not relieved at all and that confuses me.

Take yesterday, for example. As M has related we were at a party Saturday night (where I suspect we made a spectacle of ourselves, but whatever) and I ended up staying over at his place instead of attempting to make my way back home (and boy did I feel conspicuous going home Sunday afternoon in high heels and such, but never mind, I’m sure this is quite usual, it’s just not usually me…). After a bit of breakfast I decided I really needed to go home and take my contacts out. So I went home. And expected to get home and think ‘Ah, nice empty flat’. Whereas, on the contrary, I think I’d been home for about five minutes before I started missing him. Which is scary. It’s completely out of character and nothing like anything I’ve ever felt or thought before.

Don’t get me wrong, here, I’m not complaining. I’m loving this. It just scares the hell out of me, mostly because I want to keep feeling like this and I’m afraid I won’t. I have no rational reason to expect to stop feeling like this, except I’ve always ‘come to my senses’ and fallen out of love quite quickly before. On the other hand, this hasn’t begun anything like the previous times – that’s just the point, really – so why should it end the same way? Still. Scary.

Scary, but oh so lovely.

(And of course I ought to tell him this instead of writing it here, but then I’ve always felt more comfortable being candid in writing than in conversation – some things haven’t changed – and I have to find something to fill this blog with, don’t I? Besides, as good luck would have it, he can read.)

A stern yet benevolent organizer who often knows best, your wits are keenly fixed on aiding efforts you deem worthy.

Right.

Feeling distinctly cranky this morning – despite a glorious long walk with the boyfriend last night which had me grinning like a madwoman (I probably scared the wits out of people on the bus going home). It’s the heat. I have no idea what the temperature was last night, but I am, for once, delighted not to be in London. In other words: I didn’t sleep well.

I could only find two albums. I’m sure I have more somewhere. Mind you, they could be at my parents’. I sure hope they are.

Now to see if the eggs in my fridge are still edible – in which case there’ll be omelette for dinner.

Voice in my head: It’s the Time of Your Life (from A Bug’s Life)

I’ve been looking through old pictures. I need to go to the cellar and see if I can find my photo albums. I think that’s where they are.

You know I talked about installing the same sort of gallery software as Donna? Well, I didn’t. For use on the nmwl.no website I found some gallery software from Coppermine which I’ve ended up using instead. It’s originally designed to allow other people to register as users and upload pictures, but you can turn this function off. And it’s easy to install and use, so I’m running with it for the time being. It’s installed on my other domain, though – yes, I have more than one domain, of course I have more than one domain – so go to sandlund.no to check it out. Not a whole lot of pictures there just yet, but enough to keep you busy for a while. I’ll be sorting through and adding some more soonish. Just need to get nmwl.no on it’s feet without crutches first…

Voice in my head: Eddie Reader – Ae fond kiss