The Guardian has had a poll to determine the worst sex scenes ever on film, which is an excellent idea, as much of a priceworthy thing to do as the Literary Review’s worst sex award for novels. Nothing spoils a good plotline more than inappropriate/ridiculous/interminable sex scenes. Out of the Guardian’s top five I’ve actually only seen The Titanic, and can confirm that yes, the “hand on window” is pretty stupid. My own personal “favourite” is not even among those that have received honourable mention; I’m referring to The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo, where they have sex on the marble staircase. No comment, except: “Ouch”.