So-called romantic so-called comedies

It’s been a while. Granted, I don’t watch many movies at all these days, other things seem to take up my time, but in response to Dorothy Snarker’s excellent Dear John letter to romantic comedies I’m trying to remember the last time I paid to see one. I saw Down with Love on television just a few weeks ago (oh, and boy, did that suck or what? I really don’t know why I sat through the whole thing, I think I must be allowed to plead insanity), which would make it the first romantic comedy I’ve seen at all in a very long time, but how long has it actually been since I paid to see one?

I think it might have been Bridget Jones’ Diary. The first one.

In which I read letters

…and wonder whether I should write some. I ought to know better, actually, than to read the letters page in the newspaper. Especially letters signed somebody whose name I really can’t be arsed to remember, Kristent samlingsparti (or whatever it is they call themselves, and no, I will not google them, I do not want to contribute to their hit count). It left me feeling exasperated and a little tempted to go on a rampage of sorts.

Ok, ok, I get it. Some people are against the new marriage equality law.But I need some explanation, nevertheless.

So you’ve read the bible and found that it says that teh gays they are teh evilz (though, you know, I read it too, and I never found that part), and therefore they need to be saved from having happy fulfilling lives and be “cured” into miserableness and probably forced to marry someone of the opposite sex and procreate, because that-thing-you-call-god-which-bears-little-resemblance-to-my-God apparently thinks the world is underpopulated.

That’s fine.

Ok, it isn’t fine, but I can sort of see your point if I tilt my head and squint a bit. You’re entitled to your opinion, even if I fundamentally disagree.

But how, how, HOW can you describe Bill and Ted down the street finally getting the legal recognition of their loving and faithful relationship over the last 20 years as an “attack on those of us who want a normal marriage”? No one’s talking about YOUR marriage. No one CARES about your marriage. You’re married? Fine. Good for you. If your marriage is so frail a thing that the fact of someone completely unrelated to you getting legal recognition of a relationship YOU wouldn’t want to be in then, you know, perhaps it’s how YOU handle your own relationship you should be worried about and talk about and do something with.

See, I’m not gay. The person I fell head over heels in love with and who happened to fall in love with me and whom I married a while back and hope to God (mine, not yours) I will stay married to until death do us part (and oh, let that be in a good many years) is of the opposite sex. And I hold our marriage sacred. But it matters to me NOT ONE JOT that Bill and Ted get married and live happily ever after too. In fact, it makes me rather happier, in that the more people in this world who are happy, the less people are likely to go on murderous rampages (or to write moronic letters to the editor, because, have you noticed, really happy people don’t feel the need to put other people down). It makes our marriage no less valid, no less valuable. Neither does Jane and Ben getting a divorce or the fact that Joe beats Diane senseless every Friday, though the former makes me kind of sad and the latter hopping mad. But it doesn’t affect OUR marriage.

You know, you probably heard this before, but it seems to bear repeating: Go get your bible and read the bit about loving thy neighbour as thyself and doing unto others etc. again. It’s in the New Testament. You know, that bit of the bible you’re supposed to hold especially dear if you’re a Christian.

I meant to forget all about that stupid letter and not write all that, but then Faith posted this at Shakesville and I really needed to post it too, and the other bit sort of just happened. Video emphatically not safe for work (well, the sound isn’t, and you really need the sound on):

New from old

Spring has sprung and the lass needs some lightweight hats. I dug through the pile of “want to use this for something” and found one of my favourite t-shirts ever. I absolutely adore this material. However, the top has always been too short for me, and repeated spin cycles have not helped.

So. I cut off the bottom part to make a simple hat, here is the rest of the tee (I forgot the “before” picture):

Tee turned hat, and short tee

I made a tube out of several rectangles, folded it double and closed the end where the cut sides were with a seam – making a “peak” or ear-shape at each end. Voilla, new floppy-silly hat:

Hat from old tee

Now what?

Now what?

This is turning into a series, it seems, but, you know: WTF? Why is this one without a head, then? The more I look at this image the more disturbing I find it.

Sorry for the crummy picture, I’ll get a better one if I see the poster again.

The main tagline reads “when your body gets tied up in knots” – and it’s an advertisement for a naprapat center (I think, the print was so small, I really coudn’t read anything beyond the main “slogan” from where I sat, which, frankly, fails it as effective advertising, too…).

Assvertising

Stealing my title from Shakesville (see Assvertising), but, really, how else to describe this?

Assvertising

Mind you, it fits nicely in the series: Today in disembodied things, too.

The text reads: “Life flows better when you can use the same card for something that highlights the whole of you or just a little detail.”

The whole of you? Really?

Note to advertisers: Most women have heads. I think – I might be wrong here, but I’m willing to chance it – it might be just ever so slightly difficult to get along without one.

Sentimental sap

An absolutely non-exhaustive list of songs that are likely to make me cry:

  • Eldorado – Åge Aleksandersen
  • Jessie – Joshua Kadison
  • He Didn’t Have to Be – Brad Paisley
  • One Moment in Time – Whitney Houston
  • Teddybjørnens vise – Alf Prøysen
  • Lindansaren – Michael Wiehe
  • Tuppen og Lillemor (I kid you not, though I don’t actually have this song as MP3, so I’m not exposed to it very often, I have been known, however, to hum it to myself, involuntarily, and tear up… Do you think there’s a drug for this sort of thing?)
  • Flickan och kråkan – Michael Wiehe
  • Skyfri himmel – Bjørn Eidsvåg
  • Dear Mr. President – Pink
  • Harper Valley PTA – anyone of a bunch of people

Occasioned by the potentially embarrassing fact that three of these popped up on my mp3-player this morning (as usual, it’s in random mode) while I was waiting for and then riding on the bus.

Argh

Nettbuss har den minst brukervennlige nettsiden jeg har vært inne på på lenge.

Forespørselen min skulle egentlig vært ganske enkel: Jeg og snuppa ankommer Gardermoen litt før 11 på skjærtorsdag og skal gjerne ha en buss videre mot Solør. Vi har allerede vært i snakk med Nettbuss Hedemark og fått vite at de kjører søndagsruter på skjærtorsdag, så egentlig er alt jeg trenger en rutetabell som kan fortelle meg hvordan jeg kommer til Kongsvinger, der snuppas besteforeldre har tenkt å møte oss. (Det skal bemerkes at det ikke var så lett å få bekreftet om det overhodet gikk buss og om det var søndagsruter, lørdagsruter eller helt normale ruter som ble kjørt heller, for de enkelte busselskapene melder ikke inn til ruteopplysningen hva de har tenkt å gjøre i påsken så tidlig som slutten av januar, må vite, det er da ingen som planlegger reisen hele to måneder i forveien, særlig ikke i forbindelse med høytider. At jeg ikke synes det er så mye vits å fly til Gardermoen hvis jeg ikke vet sikkert at jeg kan komme meg videre til dit jeg faktisk skal, får jeg ta på min egen kappe, tydeligvis.) 

Forsiden: Du kan klikke på kart eller søke etter buss med fra-til holdeplasser. Ingen lenker direkte til bussruter. Prøver jeg å klikke på Gardermoen får jeg en 404-side, så det er ikke så mye vits (og “hjelpeteksten” når man holder muspekeren over Gardermoen er “Flybussekspressen: Fredrikstad – Oslo Lufthavn Gardermoen”, så det er jo ikke så lovende uansett. Men jeg VET jo at det går busser andre steder enn til Fredrikstad fra Gardermoen, så jeg tenkte det var verdt et forsøk).

Siden kartet ikke umiddlebart hjelper forsøker jeg å søke. Da får jeg meldingen:”De ulike Nettbuss-selskapene har avvikende rutetider for Påsken 2009. For ruteinformasjon 09/04-13/04 09 ber vi deg kontakte ruteopplysningen på 177, eller klikk her.” (I parentes bemerket, om jeg ringer 177 får jeg menyvalgene: 1 – Sogn og Fjordane, 2 – Møre og Romsdal, 3 – Sør-Trøndelag, 4 – Nord-Trøndelag, 5 – Nordland, 6 – Troms og Finnmark, 9 – Oslo og Akershus. Jeg vet ikke hvilket valg det er meningen jeg skal ta for Hedmark/ Oppland, jeg har ikke giddet å prøve.)

Så jeg klikker. Og får listen:
Nettbuss Møre
Nettbuss Trøndelag
Nettbuss Drammen
Nettbuss Lillestrøm : Nittedal, Bærum, Elverum, Kongsvinger, Årnes, Eidsvoll og Gardermoen.
Nettbuss Østfold
Nettbuss Sør
Nettbuss Ringerike

Så jeg velger Lillestrøm, takknemlig for den forklarende teksten, siden jeg ikke hadde gjettet at Kongsvinger og Elverum sorterte under Lillestrøm (hvorfor heter det ikke Nettbuss Øst eller noe sånt?).

Og da får jeg et pdf-dokument, som forteller meg det jeg allerede vet, nemlig at det kjøres søndagsruter på skjærtorsdag.

Så da går vi tilbake til forsiden, for et nytt forsøk på å lokalisere bussruter. Vi forsøker kartet igjen, denne gangen tar jeg utgangspunkt i holdeplassen jeg skal til i stedet for den jeg skal fra, noe som ikke er helt logisk, men logikk ar tydeligvis ikke nødvendig i denne sammenhengen. Så jeg klikker på Hedmark, og får en kartside med kart over Hedmark og en tekst til høyre som blandt annet forteller meg at “I Hedmark har Nettbuss Lillestrøm avdelinger på Elverum, Flisa, Kongsvinger og Sand” (og jeg synes fortsatt at Nettbuss Øst hadde vært et mer forklarende navn enn Nettbuss Lillestrøm).

Men med godt mot trykker jeg på Kongsvinger på kartet. Da får jeg en infoside for Kongsvinger, men en rekke lenker til rutetabeller:

nettbuss Kongsvinger

Problemet er bare at de bussene jeg er ute etter ikke ligger i listen. Jeg leker med tanken på å klikke på lenken til TIMEkspressen, men siden bussen fra Gardermoen er en “Timebussen”-buss, ikke en “TIMEkspressen”-buss har jeg ikke lyst til å gi opp Nettbuss-sidene helt ennå, dessuten har jeg oppdaget et menyvalg oppe til høyre som heter “Rutetabeller”. Nå er jeg ikke sikker på hvorfor jeg skulle tro at det finnes andre rutetabeller på den lenken enn i listen til venstre, men jeg tenker at det er verdt et forsøk. Og det viser seg å stemme:

Nettbuss, rutetabeller

Er jeg den eneste som synes valgene kunne vært litt mer forklarende? Nåja. Timebussen (Årnes-Oslo Lufthavn) er i alle fall grei nok. Jeg klikker meg inn og får endelig en relevant rutetabell. Den forteller meg at det går buss 11:18 som korresponderer på Rød med en buss som kommer til Kongsvinger 12:40. Siden jeg er litt kontrollfrik med hensyn til reise og ruter og slikt vil jeg gjerne ha tabellen videre fra Rød også, så etter å ha skrevet ut denne tabellen går jeg tilbake til forrige side. Og siden det i tabellen for busser fra Gardermoen står “TIMEkspressen Kongsvinger st.” gjetter jeg meg til at det er “TIMEkspressen linje 2” jeg skal ha, noe som viser seg å stemme. Hadde det vært så mye å be om at de skrev “TIMEkspressen linje 2 Charlottenberg-Kongsvinger-Oslo”? Og at det i stedet for “Lokalrutetabell Hedmark” sto “Timebussen Kongsvinger-Solør-Elverum”? Jeg trenger nemlig den tabellen også, da gubben komemr med fly langfredag og forhåpentligvis rekker en buss videre mot Kirkenær.

Men kanskje jeg ikke skal klage, nå har jeg i alle fall de rutetabellene jeg trenger. Og det tok vel bare en halvtime eller noe sånt og jeg har da ikke noe bedre å fordrive tiden med.

Og hvis jeg må skrive TIMEkspressen mot alle instinkter (som sier at det burde staves Timeekspressen) én gang til skriker jeg.

This is the sort of thing my husband reads aloud to me in the evening

A woman is driving alone across country when she sees a Navajo woman standing by the side of the road.  Since she is lonely for some company, she stops and asks the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.  The Navajo woman gets in the car without a word.  After a few minutes the driver notices that the Navajo woman has been observing everything in the car, still without speaking a word.

Finally the Navajo woman speaks.  She says “what’s in paper bag?”  The woman, looking down at a brown paper bag on the console next to her responds, “It’s a really good bottle of wine and I got for my husband.”

The Navajo woman thinks for a moment and responds….”Good trade.”

Birthday wishlist

What? What do you mean I’m too old for a birthday wishlist? I’m only 13! No, wait, ok, I’m uhm, 2009 minus 1974 that’s, uhm, 35. Ok, so I’m half-way to seventy. What do you care? It’s a good age. And I like presents.

To get on with it:

1. An Overlock. Like this one. Or one of the Husqvarna Huskylocks they have here.

2. Pop-up books, of the fancy kind, like The Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland by Robert Sabuda, Olive the other Reindeer or ABC3D. And so on. And other things off my Amazon wish-list, naturally.

3. Lego (for preference: “historic” sets and pirates)

4. Stuff for the Bosch (MUM6N22): MUZ6MM3 foodprocessorMUZ7WS2 Pølsehorn i rustfritt stål, MUZ7NV1 Pasta/Lasagne-munnstykke and MUZ6DS3 snittesett, for a start.